Any attempt at hacking The Computer Kernel (The Company) or its electronic property, websites, servers, networks, etc., must be done in full compliance with this policy. By attempting the act of hacking, compromising, cracking, or performing any other malicious activity to The Computer Kernel’s electronic property, you agree that you are hereinafter bound by the terms of this agreement in performing such activity. Any attempted hack on our network is assumed to be full acceptance of this agreement.
The Computer Kernel’s electronic property covered by this policy consists of the primary ComputerKernel website, all subdomains, all other websites in The Computer Kernel’s possession, all servers, networking devices, routers, wireless communication devices, computers, phones, programs, scripts, all internet-connected devices, and all computer related systems managed for clients.
THERE IS NO KNOWN METHOD OF HACKING THE COMPUTER KERNEL, TO THE EXTENT KNOWN BY MODERN, 21ST CENTURY SCIENCE, TECHNOLOGY, & CRYPTOGRAPHY. EXCEPT WHEN OTHERWISE EXPLICITLY STATED AS BEING A HONEYPOT, THE COMPUTER KERNEL WEBSITE AND/OR OTHER NETWORK COMPONENTS ARE DESIGNED TO BE 100% UNHACKABLE. THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED GUARANTEES OF HACKABLENESS AND POSSIBILITY OF EXPLOITATION. THE ENTIRE RISK FROM HACKING COMPUTER KERNEL ELECTRONIC PROPERTY IS YOUR FULL RESPONSIBILITY. SHOULD YOU DESTROY YOUR NETWORK, IDENTITY OR OTHER ELECTRONIC DEVICES IN AN ATTEMPT, YOU ASSUME THE COST OF ALL NECESSARY RISK MITIATION, REPAIR OR CORRECTION TO RETURN YOUR ELECTRONIC OPERATIONS AND PERSONAL IDENTITY TO A SAFE STATE.
The Computer Kernel reserves the below rights against anyone attempting to hack The Computer Kernel’s network. The right to make hacking our network impossible; the right to set a trap to get your hopes up that you have succeeded, only to be redirected to a page containing the word H0n3yP07 in a <arr;marquee>arr; tag; the right to attempt and succeed at hacking you system; the right to cause you any electronic damage we deem suitable; the right to slurp up all of your bandwidth up in a DDoS sinkhole; the right to un-hack any sites or services that you previously hacked; and the right to monetize this opportunity in any way we see fit.
There may be many Adverse Effects and Consequences that you must take into consideration and agree to when contemplating the decision to attempt to hack The Computer Kernel. These include, but are not limited to: permanently erasing some or all data from your computer to the DoD 5220.22-M specification, defacing and/or erasing all social media accounts, including, but not limited to: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Youtube, swiping some or all of your domains into our possession, defacing any websites under your ownership, changing and/or invalidating all your personal information (social security number, name, address, driver’s license, etc.) without your knowledge or permission, draining your bank account(s) and/or Bitcoin/Cryptocurrency wallet(s), irreparably ruining your hardware by shutting down fans/temperature controls, replacing every installation of Linux or Windows 10 you own with DOS 1.0, spontaneously cancelling your high-speed internet service and subscribing you to a nice slow satellite or dial-up connection with a 3-year contract, bricking your iPhone, copying your entire GitHub repository to /dev/null, running DBaN autonuke on all your hard drives via RPC calls, or replacing all of your programs with the useless Linux command-line “yes”, “rev”, and “ul” utilities. These aforementioned things may affect you in any number of devastating ways. It is fully your responsibility to make sure you understand all of the risks before any attempted hack.
Once you have fully read, understood, and agreed to this agreement, if you decide to proceed with a hacking attempt, there are a few precautions we recommend you take. First, please copy all of your important data & code to a USB drive or tape disk (depending on your technology skills and how much data you have), enclose it in a faraday cage surrounded by neutron control rods, enclose that in three waterproof boxes, and bury it 10 feet deep where only you know its location. Second, uninstall Windows 10 from all your devices, as it will be a hindrance and is laughably insecure. Third, run as many penetration tools on your computer as you know about, fixing any issues they find until they all give you perfect scores. Next, try to infect your computer with every virus known to mankind. If your computer gets infected, back to step 3. Then withdraw all money from your bank accounts and cryptocurrency accounts as cash and hide it under your bed. Once that is done, spend half of your money buying up all the GPUs and FPGAs that you can find on eBay. After that, change every password you have to at least 257 characters long. (If you don’t immediately know why 257 characters is better than 256, do some serious studying, as you will not get far with hacking). Then upgrade all of your encryption to 4096-bit encryption with salted hashes, making sure to generate the public and private keys with QRNG. (It helps to read a theoretical book on entropy at this point). Finally, spend a week meditating on how you will cope with utter failure and total digital destruction. Good luck!